"What're you doing here. You're dead, you shouldn't be in my house. I killed you 14 years ago."
"This is a nightmare, I know it."
This is what I thought to myself as I watched my father walk through my house, towards Adam's room.
"I can hear your thoughts, Whit. You'd like that, wouldn't you, for this to be a nightmare. But it's not, oh no it's not, this is very very real."
"You're lying, this is just a nightmare. Just like I have almost every other night. As soon as you pull that trigger, I'm going to wake up, and everything is going to be the way it always is. Get out of my head. I'm done. I'm not thinking about this anymore. I'm going to wake myself up before anything happens. And you'll be gone forever."
I tried to wake myself up, I've done it before. I may be plagued with nightmares, but I had learned to control them. Learned to wake myself up before anything bad ever happened, but this time was different. I couldn't wake up, couldn't move, couldn't cry out. I could just stand there and watch.
"I told you, Whit, this isn't a nightmare. This is real. You see, I may be dead. But I'm still here, I always have been. Been with you for these past 14 years. At first , I could only be in your nightmares which made you think about me all the time. That made me stronger. I could control it, make you see what you wanted, feel what you wanted. Than you learned how to control your nightmares, and I just couldn't have that. I had to do something about it. So I too the strenghth that you gave me, and I made myself real. Well, as real as a ghost could be. But I wasn't alone. Your brat of a sister had to be here too. She had so much more strength than I. Always protecting Lindsey and Adam. So cute how you named your daughter after your sister. That little Adam of yours, he's one strong little man, doesn't even need his Aunt's protection anymore. He could will me away all on his own. But not tonight. And there's no one that can protect them. I took care of your sister for good. This is it. I'm finally going to get what I want after all these years, to see you suffer."
With that, he walked in to Adam's room. And pulled his gun, no, my gun. He aimed it at Adam and went to pull the trigger, then out of no where a blur tackled him. I looked and there she was, my sister, saving my son's life, like she had saved mine all those years ago. But she was a little too late, the gun had already gone off.
BAM!
"Whit, catch! Merry Christmas!"
My father threw my gun at me. I caught it in my robe, never touching it. And they both disappeared.
I woke up in a cold sweat.
Christmas was never really a big holiday for me. Not since I was a little kid. Not since my father murdered my mother and my sister in cold blood during the holiday season. That was all in the past now. I had buried my ghosts forever in that small one light town.
After I had handed in my badge and retired form my job, I decided that it was time for a change. I was ready to settle down and start a family. Something I had never really known.
Even though I was no longer Dectective Nichols of the Bravada Sherriff's Office, I still did some side work for them. Closing up old missing persons and homicide cases, hours of paperwork, and training the rookies. They knew that I wanted to put all of that behind me, but I was too important for them to just let me go. That's where I met David. He was one of the Homicide rookies that I trained. The most promising.
After almost 5 years of dating, he finally proposed. We married a year later, and now have 2 beautiful children who want to be just like their mommy and daddy when they grow up. Adam is 8, and Lindsey is 6.
David and I tried to get them into things that normal children their age liked to play with. G.I. Joe and other action figures, hotwheels cars, superheroes, barbies, baby dolls, and things like that. Instead all of their action figures and dolls were battered and beaten and strewn about the house in gruesome murder scenes, and they had all of the CSI shows and other forensic crime shows times and channels memorized and watched them every night. After a few years of fighting with them and telling them to enjoy their childhood like all of the other kids in the neighborhood, we gave up and let them enjoy what they wanted. We knew that they would follow in our footsteps and become great investigators one day
I was just as excited as them for Christmas, even though they had no idea the treats they were in for. We had bought them some crime books, a few seasons of the CSI franchise on DVD, and best of all some forensic starter's kits where they could collect DNA and dust for fingerprints. I felt like a kid again. I couldn't wait to see their faces in the morning. It's all I could think about as I wrapped their presents.
Just as I was finishing wrapping the presents and putting them under the tree, I heard someone coming down the stairs. Thinking it as David coming to check when I was coming up to bed, I called to him and said I'd be up in a few minutes. Not hearing an answer, looked up and jumped out of my skin. Little Lindsey was standing there staring up at the picture above our fire place. The family portait I had taken from my mother's house the night my father got shot.
"What're you doing up Linds? It's way past your bedtime, you don't want Santa to take your gifts back."
"I wanted to make sure that Grandpa doesn't hurt Santa, so I'm gunna sleep down here tonight."
She had been talking like this a lot lately. So much that it made me regret telling her and her brother what had happened to her grandmother and aunt. I was hoping that since putting her in therapy, it would stop. But it only made it worse.
"Sweetheart, I told you that Grandpa can't hurt anyone anymore. He's in a very far away place, and can't come back."
"But I see him sometimes mommy, and aunt Lindsey too. He tells me that he's going to hurt you, and daddy, and Adam. Then aunt Lindsey hurts him, and he goes away. Then she gives me a hug and a kiss and says that no one is going to get hurt because she's always watching us and protecting us."
"Those are just dreams, Lindsey. Mommy has them too. No one is going to hurt you while you're my daughter. Daddy and I will always make sure of that because we love you and Adam so much. Come on let's get back up to bed, last one there is a rotten egg."
We raced upstairs, me letting her win. I tucked her in and kissed her goodnight, feeling like i had eaten a bowl of rocks for dinner. I hated seeing her so scared. She might rip the head off of her barbie dolls, and color them with a red marker saying that it's blood, but she still had the innocence of a child.
I walked to my room trying not to cry. Trying not to lose it and decide to skip Christmas and just stay in bed all day.
"Hey Honey, I didn't think that you were ever going to come to bed" David said to me with sleep in his voice when I walked into our bedroom.
"Yea, me either."
"What's wrong, Whit? You sound like something is bothering you."
"It's nothing Hun, don't worry about it. Just go back to sleep, I'll join you in a minute."
"No, no, I'm awake, and I am going to worry. I know how hard this time of year is for you. I may not want to hear about it all the time, but I can always make an exception this time of year. No one understands you better than I do, not even your therapist. You've been to every single one in this area in the past 14 years, and none of them can ake the nightmares go away as well as I can when I listen to you. So what's bothering you? And don't tell me nothing. I won't let you sleep until you tell me everything."
"I'm too tired to fight with you for saying that you can make an exception, and pretend that it doesn't bother me and I'll tell you what's wrong. It is Christmas after all."
"Good, I'm listening. So go ahead."
David usually hated when I would talk about my father and everything that he did to mine and so many other peoples' families. His family was included in the reign of terror that my father inflicted, but they were part of the lucky few. They barely escaped, but were lucky that his parents had called the police before any real damage was done. There were no fatalities in his case, but his father was severly injured and confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. It was one of the reasons why David had joined our department, he wanted to put peope like my father away and he wanted to personally meet and work with the person who ended my father's life. Him and everyone else never belileved that it wasn't me. Even all the therapists that I've seen. They couldn't believe that it was the ghost of my sister, especially since the shots were fired from my gun.
"Lindsey came downstairs as I was finishing up with the presents. She wanted to make sure that Grandpa didn't hurt Santa. She told me that she sees him sometimes. That he wants to hurt our family. She said she sees my sister too, and that she hurts him so he can't hurt us. I told her that they are just dreams, just like the ones that I have. But you know that there's a part of me that believes that they arent just dreams. That they are really here."
"Whitney, you know that isn't true. You know that there is no such thing as ghosts. Just like the therapists have told you that it's your way of dealing with things. As much as you want to believe it. You know that you were the one that fired your gun and killed your father. You just don't want to accept it. As much as you may have hated him for everything that he did, he was still your father, and somewhere deep down inside you loved him. You remember the man he was before he went crazy, the father he was. And that was the man you couldn't kill. So you hallucinated, and saw the ghost of your sister kill him, so you didn't have to deal with the pain of killing someone that you loved."
"You may be right about that, but what about Lindsey. How does she see them? Why does she have nightmares about him hurting us? About my sister saving her? And why doesn't Adam? He knows all of the same things. He fears him just as much as the rest of us. Yet, he is seemingly untouched by the reality of what happened. Maybe he just knows that the dead are just that, dead, and they can't hurt us. As much as I know that also, I can't help but feel like he's still with us. Like they both are."
"Everyone handles things differently. I still have nightmares about what happened to my family too. But that's all they are, nightmares about that night. I don't see him here, don't see him trying to hurt our family now. Because he can't. He's dead and gone. Not even buried, cremated and his ashes in a dumpster where they belong. We knew the risks we were taking when we decided to tell the kids about what happened. And we accepted that. And we still have to. No matter how much it hurts. One day everything will be like nothing happened. We just have to all be willing to let it go, forget about it and act like nothing happened. Stop living in the past."
"You're right. We do. It's Christmas. We need to be happy. The kids are going to love everything they got, and your parents will be here tomorrow. We'll be one big happy family. And after tomorrow is all over, I'm finally going to burn that picture, and we'll go and take a new family portrait. You, me, the kids, and your parents. And we'll bury all of it and start fresh. No more talking about it either. Nothing ever happened."
"That's what I want to hear, Whit. Now let's get some sleep. We have along day tomorrow."
I went to sleep wishing that I could believe what I said. That I could put it all behind me. After 14 years, but I knew that it was still going to take me a long time. I just didn't want to admit it to David, or myself really. I wanted so bad to let it go. But the nightmares had other plans.
"Mom! Dad! Wake up! Santa was here! And Nan and Pop are here. Nan is making breakfast for us. Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"
"Good morning Adam. Where's Lindsey?" David asked his son, sleepily.
"She's downstairs helping Nan with breakfast, and telling them about all the new crimes we solved. And listening to Pop's hiking stories. Come on, get up! I wanna open my presents!"
"Alright, alright. We're coming. Mommy and I will be down in a minute."
"See that , Whit. Pop's hiking stories. The old man still got it, even if he is in a wheelchair. He let it go a long time ago, just like we do now. But enough of that, let's go enjoy our family Christmas."
"Mommy look at what Nan and Pop got me and Adam! Survival kits for hiking and camping. Pop said that when it gets warm we can go on a camping trip with them. Can we go, please, Mommy can we??"
Seeing their happy faces wth their new survival kits made me forget about everything that happened the night before. And for the first time in a long time, I knew I was going to enjoy Christmas.
"Alright kids finish up your breakfast so you can go open your other presents" I told the kids.
"Cool Daddy, look at what we got! Kits just like they have on CSI. Now we can be just like them." Adam and Lindsey booth yelled at the same time. It was amazing how alike they were, even with their age difference.
The kids finished opening their presents, and went off to play with their new forensic kits while Adam and I cleaned up and talked to his parents.
"So Whitney, where are your parents this year?" Nan asked me.
"Oh, they are spending it touring Europe. They sent the kids some things though. A new G.I. Joe and Barbie doll that you can only get in France. The kids loved them." I replied, pointing to a brutal crime scene caution taped off on the living room floor.
Nan just gave a solemn shake of her head at it, while I noticed that there was an action figure that I had never seen before standing in the middle of it pointing a gun.
"Those kids sure are spirited aren't they. Wanting to be just like their parents. I hope they enjoy our gift just as much as that one" Pop chuckled, "How are they doing anyway. Ya know, since you told them?'
"Well, Adam seems to be doing fine. Lindsey on the other hand..."
I couldn't finish before David interrupted me after seeing my face when I noticed the addition to the kids' most recent crime scene.
"Pop, it's Christmas, we're not going to talk about that. The kids are fine, I'm fine, Lindsey's fine. In fact, we decided that we aren't going to talk about it anymore. The past is the past. We think it's best for our family if we leave it at that." David said to his dad, sounding the slightest bit annoyed.
"I was just trying to start a conversation, no need to get all flustered."
"OUCH ADAM! Why did you let me fall? Lindsey screamed from the other room.
I heard the crash and I couldn't think anything but the worst. Those two were always getting into some kind of mischief.
"What's going on in here? Lindsey, are you okay?"
"Yea, Mommy, I'm fine. Adam just let me fall when I was dusting the picture frame for fingerprints. We're doing the whole house. Then we're gunna take your's, Daddy's, Nan's, and Pop's fingerprints. Okay?"
"Okay. Just try not to hurt yourself. It wouldn't be a very fun Christmas if you did."
I looked up at the portrait, and my father's smile looked even more menacing than usual. I knew it was just a figment of my imagination, but I couldn't help feeling a little uneasy. Christmas was alway his favorite holiday.
"Nan! Pop! Can I take your fingerprints? Lindsey is gunna do Mom and Dad's, then we're gunna compare them with all the ones we found around the house." Adam exclaimed.
Pop happily obliged to Adam's request, while Nan was a little hesistant, but she couldn't resist Adam's charm. Much like his father's. Nan was like my parents, she hated to accept the fact that Adam and Lindsey were amazed by the crimes that people commit and wanted to become dectectives when they grew up. She hoped that it was just a phase.
"Hey Daddy, these two sets of fingerprints don't match anybody's that are here. Maybe they're the fingerprints of ghosts that got murdered before we lived here. Wouldn't that be cool? Maybe we could solve a real crime!" Lindsey screamed in excitment.
"Where did you guys get these fingerprints from? Maybe they're from your friends."
"No I don't think so. Lindsey got some from the picture of mom's parents and sister and her from when she was little like Lindsey. And no one ever touches that. And the other ones that are the same as those, are from the doorknobs for the bedrooms."
"Let me see those. Are you sure they're different and you aren't looking at them wrong?"
I took all the fingerprints from Adam and Lindsey. There were six sets that were labeled Mommy, Daddy, Nan, Pop, Lindsey, and Adam. Then there were two sets that were obviously different from the familys', and different from each other. Both labeled with a question mark. One of the sets were completely unrecognizable to me, and I pushed those to the side to look at the other ones. As soon as my eyes hit the paper, my stomach sank. I knew whose they were. I had seen them and studied them so many times while I was on the force. I told the kids that they had just made a mistake and to go dust again, and suggested that Nan and Pop go help them. Pop saw the look on my face and took his wife and the kids to go dust for more fingerprints.
I pushed the prints that I couldn't take my eyes off of over to David and told him to take a good look.
"Whit, they can't be. He was never in this house. It wasn't even built until after he died. You're just mistaken."
"No, David, I'm not. You have no idea how many times I've seen those fingerprints. Case file after case file, they were always there. Can't you just accept the fact that he's here with us, probably right at this very moment."
"Okay, I'll humor you, just this once. Only because there is no other explanation. What about that other set. Whose are those? No, wait don't tell me. They aren't, are they?"
For the first time ever, I heard fear in David's voice.
"Yes, I think they're my sister's. It makes sense, if you think about it, with what Lindsey says she sees. And that toy that no one has ever seen before."
"What're we going to do about it, Whit? I fear the safety of the kids now."
"We're going to have your parents stay here tonight. Then we'll have them take the kids for the week and we'll pick them up after the New Year, and bring them home to our new house that we are going shopping for this week. I can't stay here anymore."
We told his parents the plan, without telling them everything. We left out the part about how we think we're being haunted. We knew Pop would just think it was a joke, and Nan would just think we were crazy. We didn't want the kids to know either, Lindsey was already scared enough. We spentthe rest of the night enjoying the holiday, trying to act like nothing was bothering us.
"Well, Adam and Lindsey, it's time for bed. You had a long day and you're going to Nan and Pop's early tomorrow. Maybe they'll take you guys to the cabin one day or something."
"Okay, Daddy. Love you. Goodnight. Hae fun at work while we're gone. I'll miss you and Mommy" Lindsey said
"I'll miss Mom and Dad too. But we're going to have the best time with Nan and Pop. We always do" Adam tried to cheer his sister up.
Neither of them seemed excited. They knew we had to work and they didn't go back to school for another week and we couldn't stay home. That's what they thought. They didn't know what wa really going on..
"When you guys come back, we'll have a huge suprise for you. Love you guys. Goodnight. Have fun at Nan and Pop's" I told them, trying to cheer them up.
It seemed to work and we all went to bed without a further word.
"What're you doing here. You're dead, you shouldn't be in my house. I killed you 14 years ago."
"This is a nightmare, I know it."
This is what I thought to myself as I watched my father walk through my house, towards Adam's room.
"I can hear your thoughts, Whit. You'd like that, wouldn't you, for this to be a nightmare. But it's not, oh no it's not, this is very very real."
"You're lying, this is just a nightmare. Just like I have almost every other night. As soon as you pull that trigger, I'm going to wake up, and everything is going to be the way it always is. Get out of my head. I'm done. I'm not thinking about this anymore. I'm going to wake myself up before anything happens. And you'll be gone forever."
I tried to wake myself up, I've done it before. I may be plagued with nightmares, but I had learned to control them. Learned to wake myself up before anything bad ever happened, but this time was different. I couldn't wake up, couldn't move, couldn't cry out. I could just stand there and watch.
"I told you, Whit, this isn't a nightmare. This is real. You see, I may be dead. But I'm still here, I always have been. Been with you for these past 14 years. At first , I could only be in your nightmares which made you think about me all the time. That made me stronger. I could control it, make you see what you wanted, feel what you wanted. Than you learned how to control your nightmares, and I just couldn't have that. I had to do something about it. So I too the strength that you gave me, and I made myself real. Well, as real as a ghost could be. But I wasn't alone. Your brat of a sister had to be here too. She had so much more strength than I. Always protecting Lindsey and Adam. So cute how you named your daughter after your sister. That little Adam of yours, he's one strong little man, doesn't even need his Aunt's protection anymore. He could will me away all on his own. But not tonight. And there's no one that can protect them. I took care of your sister for good. This is it. I'm finally going to get what I want after all these years, to see you suffer."
With that, he walked in to Adam's room. And pulled his gun, no, my gun. He aimed it at Adam and went to pull the trigger, then out of no where a blur tackled him. I looked and there she was, my sister, saving my son's life, like she had saved mine all those years ago. But she was a little too late, the gun had already gone off.
BAM!
"Whit, catch!"
My father threw my gun at me. I caught it in my robe, never touching it. And they both disappeared.
"MOM!! MY LEG!!!!" Adam sreamed.
I looked and that familiar crimson color soak through his comforter.
"What in the world was that!?" David screamed as he came running.
"David, grab Adam's forensic kit and fingerprint that gun. If it's not any of our fingerprints, hide it."
Nan came running upstairs, and Lindsey came out of her room.
"Nan, take Lindsey downstairs to Pop. Then come up here and help me stop the bleeding on Adam's leg."
"What about calling 911? Adam needs to go to the hospital! What happened anyway?" Nan asked.
"Nan, don't worry about that at the moment David is taking care of it. Just help me, please!"
Nan obliged. David came out of our room and told me what I feared, it was my father"s prints on the gun. I didn't even know where he got it. It was my service pistol that I handed in 14 years ago. And he was dead. He had thrown the gun to me, hoping that I would touch it and get my prints on it, and go to prison for attempting to murder my own son. This all made me feel like I was crazy.
"David, call 911, and tell them that someone broke into our house and tried to murder our family, but we woke up, you tried to apprehend him, and he got away. When the cops and ambulance get here, you will all go to the hospital with Adam. I'll be there later. I have something that I need to take care of."
Three hours later, after all the cops had finished interrogating the family, everyone was at the hospital with Adam. He was going to be fine. The shot missed all the major arteries. He would just need to be in a cast and then in therapy for awhile. He should gain all use of his leg back. They saaid someone must have been watching over us. If they only knew the truth.
I grabbed the family portrait off of the mantle and lit a fire in the fireplace and threw the portrait in there. It seemed like it took forever to burn. I watched the flames consume it, feeling a little lighter as it fell to ash.
When the fire went out. I saw something still in there, so I went to look. And what I saw, made my heart drop into my stomach. A thirteen year old girl with piercing blue eyes and strawberry blonde braids on each side of her head smiling back at me.
"Time of death 11:38 p.m. December 25, 2013." the doctor called. "So sad, a suicide on Christmas. Her husband saw the whole thing. At least her kids weren't home. Merry frickin Christmas to them. You better go break the news."
"David Brown!" the nurse called out of the room. "The doctor wants me to speak to you."
"Listen, Mr. Brown"
"David, please" he replied, trying to hold back the tears. He knew what was coming.
"I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it. Had she been showing signs of depression? Any signs that she wanted to commit suicide?"
"No, none at all. It was a suprise to us all. Excuse me, I have to go to my parents house, and break the news to the kids. On Christmas. Merry Christmas to you."
David knew the truth. He knew that I didn't commit suicide.
Your kids love watching CSI, so you buy them a forensic starter's kit for christmas. They begin running simple fake experiments, collecting DNA, and dusting for fingerprints around the house. When you look at all of the powder and prints they pull, you find there are more fingerprints than just you and your family's. Whose are they?
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